


Road Trips, Chicken Parmesan, and Handcuffs

by AdrianaintheSnow



Series: Cuffed Universe [8]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Cop Remus, Kidnapping, M/M, Morally Grey Logan Sanders, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Threats of Violence, criminal logan, sexual innuendo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29347404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdrianaintheSnow/pseuds/AdrianaintheSnow
Summary: Virgil and Remus go on a reluctant road trip with Logan.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Cuffed Universe [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1822300
Comments: 119
Kudos: 164





	1. Chapter 1

“I’d just like you both to know that I blame you equally for my involvement in this, and I hate you both for it,” Virgil hissed sullenly. He wasn’t sure what response he was expecting at this point to be perfectly honest. Perhaps some part of him still expected to eventually get a (sincere) apology if he kept complaining. He didn’t even get a half-assed apology this time. Logan just hummed and continued to drive.

“I did nothing wrong,” Remus insisted from the back. Virgil took a sullen sip of his coffee. His latest of a long string of jobs had been working at a Denny’s (the night shift, unfortunately). He’d been taking out the garbage in the morning right before heading home which was when he’d stumbled upon two idiots fighting in the parking lot. From what he’d decerned after the fact, Remus had managed to actually catch Logan for once a bit early, but Logan had managed to turn the tables. Now, Logan was driving Remus’s car to an unknown destination for the past few hours.

Of course, Virgil had the bad luck to witness the kidnapping and “had” to be dragged along.

“I still don’t know how you drink that shit black,” Remus groaned from the backseat as Virgil set down his coffee cup. Virgil flipped him off. “Seriously, you’d need 5 tablespoons of sugar and a quarter cup of milk to make that even close to palatable for me.”

“And whipped cream,” Logan contributed.

“Yeah!” Remus agreed. “And whipped cream! See, Logan gets it. Also, speaking of the delicious white gunk, another sip of my iced hot chocolate, please.”

“Why do you have to call it that?” Virgil grumbled even as he picked up the plastic cup and leaned into the backseat to let the handcuffed man take a drink. “I can’t believe I was dragged into this just to help Remus drink iced hot chocolate.”

“I can’t believe they can’t figure out a better name for the drink,” Logan said. “The name is an oxymoron.”

“Hey, are you calling me names?” Remus asked around the drink straw.

Logan frowned. “No,” he said, “the meaning of the word…”

“He’s screwing with you Logan,” Virgil cut him off, hoping that he wouldn’t have to listen to another etymology lecture. “He knows what it means.

“Ah,” Logan said. His eyes glanced to look at him in the rearview mirror. Remus was currently looking like more of an idiot than usual as he strained against the cuffs to lean forward and get his mouth around the offered drink straw. He seemed to bite back a smile before turning his attention back to the road.

Remus in a disgusting display finished about 1/3 of the sickeningly sweet drink before finally drawing away with a pop. Virgil shoved the drink back into the cup holder to drink his own beverage at a more sedate pace. After a few minutes of driving, Logan spoke up again.

“We are about to leave the city,” he said. “Virgil, climb into the backseat and blindfold Remus and then yourself.”

“Fuck you,” was Virgil’s immediate answer.

Logan’s fingers tapped the steering wheel impatiently. “If I have to stop this car to do it myself, I will be very displeased.”

“Oh, yeah?” Virgil’s mouth twisted up into a bitter sneer. “And what are you going to do then, Logan?” he challenged. “Hit me? Lock me in a dark room? Starve me?” It probably wasn’t the best idea to test the criminal that Virgil didn’t really know despite living with him for years. He did not know what he was capable of, but at the same time he was fucking tired of this. Part of him just wanted Logan to actually snap so Virgil could stop looking at him and seeing Logan: the man who had been his friend and confidant for years, the man Virgil still found himself missing late at night when he was home alone, and the man who was a lie. It would be better for his mental health if when he looked him in the eyes he could just see the person he really was instead of the memory of the man he’d…

Logan’s eyes flickered to him coldly, and Virgil braced himself for whatever was going to come out of his mouth. “If you do it, I’ll cook homemade chicken parmesan when we get to my cabin.”

“Alright,” Virgil said instantly. “Fuck it. I’m coming back there Remus.”

“Is that all it takes? Betrayal!”

“Remus, I fucking hate both of you. It’s not a betrayal because I was ever on your side.”

“He kidnapped you!”

“He also makes a mean chicken parmesan,” Virgil said. Gosh, he’d missed Logan’s food. He’d eaten way too much fast food since Logan had left. It was one safe thing to miss about the man.

Remus whined pitifully as Virgil blindfolded him with the scarf Logan indicated. “You’d better at least have booze at this cabin of yours,” Remus said.

“We’ll have Merlot with the chicken parmesan, of course,” Logan said. “I’m not an animal.”

“Yesss.” He seemed satisfied enough with this answer to settle back against the seat.

Virgil took the seat opposite him. “Do I really have to blindfold myself too?” Virgil asked with a sigh.

“Yes,” Logan replied sternly. “It is only for 30 minutes.”

Virgil groaned, but he did put the blindfold on, folding his arms over his chest grumpily once finished.

“Thank you, Virgil,” Logan said. “Your compliance is appreciated.”

Virgil hissed in reply and Logan chuckled lightly in response. Virgil went back to pouting.

He was left alone with his thoughts then without the ability to look at their surroundings. “I wonder if I’ve been fired from Denny’s yet,” he bemoaned after a few minutes. “I was supposed to be back an hour ago.”

“I do apologize for that,” Logan said, “I am willing to compensate you for your time and a little extra to hold over until you can find another paying job.”

Virgil scowled at the offer. “I don’t want your crime money,” he spat.

“I’ll only use the money I made through guest lectures and fixing computers if you’d prefer.”

“That’s not how money works and we both know it.” It also wasn’t the _point._ “You can’t just say you’re giving me your not-crime money when it’s all in the same account.”

“You didn’t mind me buying you coffee with my so called ‘crime money’,” he pointed out.

“…Well, that… that’s because I’ve been kidnapped! I get to benefit from crime money when I’ve been kidnapped. It cancels out.”

“Or because he’s using crime money to commit the other crime of kidnapping, it’s now double crime money,” Remus said.

“I can’t see why restitutions for my kidnapping you don’t fall under the same clause as the coffee,” Logan said.

“I concur,” Remus cheerfully proclaimed.

“Once again, I hate you both,” Virgil said.

Something poked Virgil in the side. He discerned it was Remus with his shoe and Virgil blindly slapped at his calf as hard as he could.

“Play nice,” Logan scolded.

“Or what?” Virgil asked. “If I strangle Remus, would you have to stop the car so I could try to run away?”

“Because running did you so much good earlier,” Remus muttered.

“ _You_ are not in a position to be mocking me,” Virgil said, reaching out and feeling for the handcuff chain. He jiggled it meaningfully.

“I also have chicken nuggets in my freezer,” Logan warned.

Virgil huffed and leaned against the door.

“Also put on your seatbelt, Virgil.”

“Yeah, Virgil,” Remus said. “We wouldn’t want Logan to get pulled over and have the officers realize he has an unrestrained passenger in the backseat.”

“I’m going to gag you next time Remus,” Logan informed him offhandedly.

“Sounds like a superb time.”

…

“Virgil,” Logan said pleasantly. “You have permission to slap him.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Are we there _yet_?” Remus complained.

“As I said two and a half minutes ago,” Logan’s voice gritted out from the driver’s seat. Remus barely suppressed a smirk. He was starting to actually get to him, and it was wonderful. “Not yet.”

“And as _I_ said two and a half minutes ago,” Remus sniffed, “it’s not like I can see the clock to know that. Time moves slower when you can’t see.”

“That is objectively false,” Logan said.

Remus whined dramatically and threw himself (the best he could in his current predicament) back against the seat. He bumped into Virgil who hissed and tried to push him away.

Logan’s voice was back to its normal monotone sound when he spoke again. Well, that wouldn’t do. “Figure out another solution to mark the passage of time,” he said.

Oh, _mistake._ “Fine,” Remus said. “One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three-”

“Please let me strangle him, Logan,” Virgil begged from beside him. “Please, I won’t even try running away if you let me. He just needs to stop talking.”

“ _Four_ Mississippi.”

“Remus,” Logan said. It sounded mostly calm, but Remus could hear his calm tone fraying along the edges. “That is not what I meant. Stop.”

“What’re you gonna do _mom_? Turn the car around? Six Mississippi. Seven Mississippi.”

He could almost feel Logan’s agitation rolling off of him in waves as Remus steadfastly continued to count out the seconds. Virgil was also quite annoyed, clearly, but he was not Remus’s focus. See, Logan was crafty, obviously considering Remus was at his mercy and not for the first time. He was smart and calm, but Remus was starting to learn how to needle his way under the man’s skin. An annoyed Logan was a distracted Logan. A distracted Logan might not be as careful as usual when they got to his destination.

At around 210 Mississippi, what Remus deduced was Virgil’s head started banging against his shoulder softly as he whispered, “please shut up, please shut up, please shut up-” to the same rhythm.

At 456, Logan turned on the radio to try to drown him out, but Remus just started to sing the numbers along to the tune.

At 740, Virgil started kicking him lightly for each number.

At 872, Virgil stopped kicking him.

At 923, Logan firmly told him to stop or he’d gag him. Remus commented “sexy.” Both of his companions reacted in different ways, but both clearly did not approve of his statement. Despite the threat, Remus was not gagged.

Finally, at about 1,273, the car started to slow.

“God, please tell me we’re there,” Virgil groaned. “Or at least that we’re stopping to throw him into a ditch.”

“We are here,” Logan confirmed. “You may take your blindfold off now if you wish, Virgil.” There was a rustle of fabric in response to his words.

“Great,” Virgil said after a moment. “Taken to a cabin in the woods by a known criminal. Just my luck.”

“Could you take my blindfold off?” Remus asked.

“No. Suffer.”

Remus pouted in his general direction and despite not being able to see, could feel his scorn. “Please Virgie?” he begged. He lowered his voice a bit. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

The answer to that offer was the sound of a car door opening and then slamming shut. He could hear Logan sigh and then another door opened. Remus sat in silence for a few moments. (It took longer than necessary. Logan was probably trying to cool off a bit before opening the door. No fair! Remus had worked hard for that man’s frustration. Honestly, his throat was a little dry from all the counting.)

Finally, Remus heard the door next to him open. He turned his head and flashed a smile. Apparently said smile irritated Logan because he said. “Do you have to be like this constantly?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Remus said sweetly. “Am I making my kidnapping unpleasant?”

“You started it.” Despite the bite of his words, his touch was rather gentle when he moved to take off the blindfold and started to remove some of the restraints. Neither of them was particularly scared to punch the other in the face. If Remus managed to even slightly get an advantage, they were going to be unrepentantly slamming each other into the dirt, but for now Logan’s fingers were soft and efficient… even though by the look in his eyes he wanted to slam Remus’s face into the pavement again and again.

“I didn’t kidnap you,” Remus pointed out. “I arrested you. They’re very different things.”

“That depends on the perspective,” Logan grumbled, continuing to work on unbinding him.

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have been hacking the FBI’s computer system at a public library.”

“It’s actually one of the best places to hack the FBI’s system,” he said, deliberately ignoring the lawlessness of his actions and focusing on the least important part of Remus’s sentence. “It’s much more difficult to track someone down when they aren’t using a personal computer and there are plenty of escape routes in a library.”

“Not, enough escape routes,” Remus taunted.

Logan bristled. “You got lucky once. It won’t happen again.”

“Are you sure about that?” Remus asked with a smile. He jerked forward when one of his hands was freed, trying to throw him off balance and grab the key, but Logan managed to step away quickly.

They stared each other down for a couple of seconds before Logan gave him a look with narrowed eyes. “Completely,” he replied.

“We’ll see,” Remus said. “I’m rather good.”

“I wouldn’t be particularly arrogant considering your current predicament,” Logan said, his head tilting just slightly to the left.

“That’s like asking a fish not to swim,” Remus said, “a cheetah not to run, a bonobo not to fuck their way up the social hierarchy.”

“Are you capable of behaving for any amount of time?”

“Only when handcuffed,” he winked, but then he blinked and looked at his still bound wrist. “Er… to a bed.”

“That can be arranged,” Logan said so instantly and casually that Remus just about chocked on thin air.

“Oh my god,” Virgil said from the other side of the car. “Oh my god. I hate this.”

“What?” Logan asked. Virgil made a wounded sound and Logan seemed to mull it over. “…I see,” he said after a moment. “On second thought, you are sleeping on the couch now.”

“Oh, come on,” Remus said. “You seemed so obliging only a few seconds ago. Surely, we can come to some sort of arrangement. I’ll be very good.”

Logan rolled his eyes.

“Please I’ll do _anything_ to get out of these handcuffs.”

Logan stepped forward again then, careful to keep the keys out of reach of Remus’s free arm. He leaned in and Remus fluttered his eyelashes at him.

“No,” Logan said right in his face.

“Was worth a shot,” Remus replied.

“Hmm,” Logan said, noncommittally. He reached forward to untie him again, but he was careful to keep his body tensed and his eyes on Remus enough that Remus didn’t see any more good opportunities to fight. At least for now.

Remus ended up with his hands handcuffed behind his back before he was pulled out of the backseat. He and Virgil were then directed into the cabin.

It seemed like a pretty nice place, like it might be a family’s summer place or something. Remus wondered idly if they were trespassing. The door opened into a living area with a large couch, a couple of chairs and a fireplace, but no TV. He could see the kitchen through one of the doors.

“Virgil, take your shoes off so you don’t track mud,” Logan said. Virgil ignored him, continuing his trek into the room only to flop onto the couch. Logan sighed and eyed Remus.

“Really?” Remus asked. Logan gave him a look. “Fine.” He squirmed one foot and then the other out of his shoes. Once Logan was also in socks, he led him over to one of the chairs and pushed him to sit down on it. One of the cuffs came off only to be attached to the armrest of the heavy chair a moment later. Remus eyed it. It would be a little hard to break without anyone noticing, but if Logan left him alone for any amount of time…

“Don’t anticipate me allowing you time to get out of that,” Logan said as though reading his mind. He turned to face Virgil. “Shoes,” he demanded.

“Garlic bread,” Virgil bargained.

“Yes, yes, now shoes.” Virgil bent down to untie his shoelaces and pulled them off, handing them to Logan who set them by the door. “Well then,” he said. “I guess I should get started cooking dinner.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Stop that!” Logan said, trying to smack Virgil’s hand away as it reached forward and stole a piece of broccoli from the cutting board. However, despite the fact that he hadn’t been fast enough to get away from Logan in the Denny’s parking lot, he was fast enough to dance out of Logan’s reach now to pop the vegetable into his mouth. “I haven’t washed them yet!”

“Oh, the horror,” Virgil replied mock seriously.

Logan whacked him with the dishtowel in his hands. “I will tie you down too if you’re not careful,” he warned. It was, of course, not a true threat. While he wasn’t afraid to restrain Virgil, there was really no point. Logan knew enough about Virgil to know he would not try to run when he had no idea where he was, especially since he had to know by now Logan ultimately would not cause him harm. It would simply be a needless act.

Besides, Virgil had expressed his discomfort with being restrained and Logan did not enjoy causing him unneeded stress… no matter how much he was purposefully being an annoyance.

“It’s not nearly as fun as it sounds,” Remus contributed from the living room. Logan could see him from where he stood. He had his head thrown back dramatically on the chair. Now him? Logan had no remorse with regards to him. “But can you steal me something too? I’m starving.”

“You ate three cheeseburgers and fries for lunch,” Logan reminded.

“I’m a growing boy!”

“You’re a 33-year-old-man,” Logan shot back.

“A growing 33-year-old man!”

Logan just shook his head and turned back to Virgil. “Here,” he said. “If you want to taste something and still be helpful, try this.” Logan stirred the simmering marinara sauce and then held out to spoon towards Virgil.

He leaned forward and poked his tongue out to lick a bit of the sauce from the spoon.

“Hmm,” Logan said as he pulled back, “and for once he follows my instructions without complaint.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Virgil said. “Have I been being too difficult? Maybe next time you shouldn’t invite me on your little fun crime vacations. Might be better for both of our mental health.”

Logan frowned, turning to put the spoon back into the pan. He stared at the sauce as he stirred it. “I am sorry,” he said softly after a moment.

“Yeah,” Virgil said, tone bitter, “whatever.”

There was a beat of awkward silence broken only by the sound of a bubble on the surface of the sauce popping and splattering marinara on the otherwise pristine stove. “Did it taste okay?” Logan asked.

“It could do with a little less being held against my will, but other than that it’s fine.” Despite the jab, his tone had deflated a little bit again. It was almost worse when he wasn’t spitting mad, Logan noted.

“Does it need any more salt?”

To Logan’s confusion, Virgil’s face suddenly screwed up into a surprised smile and he snorted out a laugh.

“…What?” Logan asked.

“You…” he bent over slightly, leaning one hand against the counter and placing the other over his lips. “The best part is you don’t even know what you said was a joke.

Logan gave him a confused look. “I just asked if the dish needed more salt.” Another laugh squeezed its way out of Virgil’s mouth past his fingers. He slid to the floor to giggle. Logan watched him fold in on himself with bewildered affection.

“‘Salty’ can be used as a slang term,” Remus offered from the other room.

Logan sighed. “Of course. I’ll have to add it to the flashcard deck.”

Virgil looked up at him from the floor. “You still use the flashcards I made for you?” he asked.

“I do, yes,” Logan said. “I need to keep up with internet speak somehow. They’re useful.”

Something unreadable crossed Virgil’s face. “Useful,” he repeated back blankly and looked away. Logan blinked down at him, aware that he had just done something wrong, but wholly unsure what it could be. “Right.” His empty tone reminded Logan uncomfortably of that distant one he’d take after a particularly bad day at the old call center. Logan had managed to fix that once, but he didn’t know how to fix it this time. “I’m going to go set the table.”

“No knives,” Logan said.

“Uh huh.” He turned and walked away to start looking into the different cabinets for the plates.

“The one to the left,” Logan offered.

“Okay.”

Logan winced. He really didn’t know what he’d done… well, besides the obvious. Not that the obvious wasn’t enough. He watched Virgil out of the corner of his eye as he grabbed the plates and cups and took them to the dining room.

Remus said something to him and it must have been particularly stupid because Virgil bopped him on top of the head with the stack of plates. Whatever it was made Virgil smile though, so that was good. He turned back to the dinner he was cooking. It had always been Virgil’s favorite when they lived together. Logan quite liked it as well. It was one of the few recipes he remembered completely from his childhood, many of the others only partial and not quite the same or lost completely to time. Cooking it always made Logan feel strange though not necessarily in a bad way. The fact that Virgil had chosen it as his favorite out of all the dishes Logan had made him over the years made him feel even stranger.

He could hear Remus trying to convince Virgil to help him escape in the living room, mostly through blatant flirting. It did not seem to be working.

“I can hear you,” he reminded.

“This is a private conversation,” Remus shot back.

“I’m your captor,” Logan said with an eyeroll.

“Doesn’t give you an excuse to be a rude eavesdropper.” Was he trying to be as aggravating as possible?

…

Yes, Logan reminded himself. Yes, he was. It was honestly a bit impressive, if aggravating that Remus managed to get under his skin so easily. Logan was often good at ignoring such things, but Remus could make it difficult. He moved to start heating up a pan to fry the chicken in instead of engaging any more.

He did his best to lose himself in the familiar action of cooking but could not help but notice that Virgil did not come back into the kitchen to steal food or make conversation. Instead, he chose to stay in the living room with Remus, sitting on the couch with his legs curled up onto it.

A little more than half an hour later, he finished up the dinner, complete with the garlic bread and a side of roasted vegetables and set everything on the table. He went over to get Remus from his chair and cuffed one of his hands to the table leg.

“I’m going to keep one of your hands uncuffed so you can eat,” Logan told him before leaning in close. “If you try to escape, I will be very displeased.”

Remus just looked at him for a long moment. “I know the feeling,” he said lowly.

“Fair warning, we’re currently in the middle of the woods and you have no idea where. There are wolves.”

“Well, maybe the wolves should be afraid of me,” Remus replied, not breaking eye contact.

There was a beat of silence.

“Can we just, like, eat dinner? Please?” Virgil asked.

They both glanced at Virgil, and then Logan leaned away, moving to take the seat across from Remus. He felt a pinch to his side when he turned and jumped before whipping back around. “I can tie your hands behind your back and make you eat like an animal.”

Remus just gave him a big smile, looking very much like a big, dumb, unrepentant puppy. “Kinky.”

“Oh my god! Stop!” Virgil groaned. “Not in front of my salad.”

“You don’t have a salad, Virgil,” Logan pointed out with a frown. “Do you want a salad? I believe I have some lettuce in the refrigerator.

He just grumbled something and put his head in his hands.

“He doesn’t want salad,” Remus explained.

“Then why…?”

“Memes, Logan,” Remus informed him.

Logan sighed at Virgil. “It is like you are speaking a different language half of the time,” he accused. Virgil just groaned into his hands, but a moment later his hand snuck out to grab a piece of garlic bread from the plate.


End file.
